[... He wants to be Godzilla... He will be able to respect it, but saying it himself he's just going to get flustered and hide behind his hands/fan. EVERY TIME.]
You were wrong, though. You don't get to say, actually you do understand me... and then still misunderstand me.
[He doesn't expect to be understood, but does he want to be? Desperately.]
I would never patronize Skulduggery. He's not a victim. He's still less of a murderer than I was, [His ice cold eyes glance away. He'll come back that point.] but he's obviously powerful. I have worked for decades disproving magic and charlatans and superstitions. Including human sacrifice. But I never thought of you as a mob. At all. I didn't even know anyone would think that of me.
That was why I said it. Because everyone loves Skulduggery. And it's stupid to sacrifice him for what... rules? Absurd. Break the rules, make new ones. I wanted everyone to see you don't have to accept the inevitable. You can fight it. You can do the impossible, just because that's what you want.
And lastly...
I guess get ready to make a sacrifice of me every other damn month starting now. Because I said I'm worse. At least Skulduggery has a new name. Isn't the same person. I'm not changed. I'm still the Demon King of 6th Heaven. So if the rules don't change, then I'm endangering all of you.
As a gunblade, with Yato, we weren't trying to hurt the Captain. Yato can sever things like the bindings of fate. I was weak. I was scared of making Klaus cry. [>:|] It's moot now. Even though I lived, they're still crying. Damned either way, isn't it? My fear was dangerous to the rest of the room, so Yato made me turn back. Because we didn't want anyone to die. Nothing you or anyone can say will change my mind on that.
The only thing you can say I might be patronizing Skulduggery about is...
[Furrowed brow.] Like I told -- my ex. [He said the name already, about making them cry, but it's different now.] When I'm at my worst... [Just looks up at the ceiling. Nope. Can't do it. He has to try. But it's one thing to tell Klaus, another to tell literally anyone else, and now after, Klaus left him???] I cannot ask for help. I have to be helped, even though I might refuse it in my state. And if my cursed blade, because of the magical energies of this place, that created the Bahamanal, and so on, gained sentience and started making everyone Demon Kings, obsessed with conquering each other; based specifically on those I learned to trust, because I never trusted since my brother's betrayal... [Lump in throat. So icy heart. He can do this. Just stay detached.] I would certainly tell everyone to execute me and cease the torment.
I asked Skulduggery before. To reach out to me. He said he was relying on the Captain's plan. I asked him if the Captain's plan without me and Yato and Valdis interfering, trying it our way, went off like he planned, would it make him happy? The Captain. Not because I give a damn how the Captain feels. But I do care about Skulduggery. He couldn't answer me. So I think that's a pretty obvious no. My failure was to think Valdis would work with me, not against me, not think I was risking my death as a gunblade. She didn't know. That's on me, not her. But even so, that doesn't mean I could give up if there was anything left to try to spare them both the pain of that. It's what I'd want for me.
I've had more names than Skulduggery, though he's lived a lot longer -- from nearly my century though. Kipposhi is the one the Captain used. I hadn't heard that since I was... five? Since before my first battle. Names are important. As Yato's gunblade, I am Mizune. [His right hand goes to the back of his left shoulder where that mark is.] So my hope, was that people would understand. If no one wants to punish Skulduggery, if no one wants to sacrifice a whole person for the actions of a rogue weapon, if no one except Skulduggery in his guilt and anguish, and the Captain: in his belief that he already did everything to fight the rules already -- everything except ask the rest of us to find a way out, because maybe Skulduggery wouldn't want us facing the consequences of that, and it'd add more guilt, then no one has to. You don't have to vote to sacrifice [He nearly spits the word, and just takes a calming sip of tea!] a life. If that's not what you want? Don't do it. Instead, do anything to find another way. Try anything, no matter how impossible. What's the worst that will happen? The rules police will come enforce the rules? Good. I have questions for them.
[Looks up at the ceiling again.] I'm sure my ex would say I don't understand anything again.
And maybe I don't.
But I didn't lead Yato. He's just the same damn way as me. That's why I wanted to help him, even though I've assumed I'm gods' enemy since I was possessed. At least he gets it.
I don't mind you guessing at my head, thinking you get it, even if you're wrong. But don't ever think my thoughts aren't oceans deep. The weather is obvious for anyone to see. [Like how he's frozen now. All the rage continuously turned to ice.] But there are depths I haven't even explored the totality of. So if you want to dive in, make sure you're ready to take wrong guesses. The trick is you have to know what happens even if you're wrong. And account for it. And I did that with the trial. All of it. Every single step. Even asking Teyrey to help, knowing the whole room might hate her for it. And I still call it worth it, even though it nearly broke her.
You held up really well though. I'd have been all over the place if Klaus was --
[Glances up at the ceiling. He doesn't regret loving Klaus. He just doesn't know what he did wrong still. Maybe it doesn't matter. Anyone who couldn't fight the impossible with him was in too much danger. Just like Oichi all over. Better now than even later when he came to truly truly rely on Klaus and make moves that couldn't make up for the loss.] Well. You know.
You've gotten a lot stronger over the last few months. So I'm going to ask, not if the vote was worth it, or if you thought it was right. But are you happy about it?
cw: human sacrifice
[You don't understand.]
[He desperately wants to be Godzilla.]
[So. fucking. much.]
[If he could be anything in the universe....]
[Okay he's okay.]
Hai.
[... He wants to be Godzilla... He will be able to respect it, but saying it himself he's just going to get flustered and hide behind his hands/fan. EVERY TIME.]
You were wrong, though. You don't get to say, actually you do understand me... and then still misunderstand me.
[He doesn't expect to be understood, but does he want to be? Desperately.]
I would never patronize Skulduggery. He's not a victim. He's still less of a murderer than I was, [His ice cold eyes glance away. He'll come back that point.] but he's obviously powerful. I have worked for decades disproving magic and charlatans and superstitions. Including human sacrifice. But I never thought of you as a mob. At all. I didn't even know anyone would think that of me.
That was why I said it. Because everyone loves Skulduggery. And it's stupid to sacrifice him for what... rules? Absurd. Break the rules, make new ones. I wanted everyone to see you don't have to accept the inevitable. You can fight it. You can do the impossible, just because that's what you want.
And lastly...
I guess get ready to make a sacrifice of me every other damn month starting now. Because I said I'm worse. At least Skulduggery has a new name. Isn't the same person. I'm not changed. I'm still the Demon King of 6th Heaven. So if the rules don't change, then I'm endangering all of you.
As a gunblade, with Yato, we weren't trying to hurt the Captain. Yato can sever things like the bindings of fate. I was weak. I was scared of making Klaus cry. [>:|] It's moot now. Even though I lived, they're still crying. Damned either way, isn't it? My fear was dangerous to the rest of the room, so Yato made me turn back. Because we didn't want anyone to die. Nothing you or anyone can say will change my mind on that.
The only thing you can say I might be patronizing Skulduggery about is...
[Furrowed brow.] Like I told -- my ex. [He said the name already, about making them cry, but it's different now.] When I'm at my worst... [Just looks up at the ceiling. Nope. Can't do it. He has to try. But it's one thing to tell Klaus, another to tell literally anyone else, and now after, Klaus left him???] I cannot ask for help. I have to be helped, even though I might refuse it in my state. And if my cursed blade, because of the magical energies of this place, that created the Bahamanal, and so on, gained sentience and started making everyone Demon Kings, obsessed with conquering each other; based specifically on those I learned to trust, because I never trusted since my brother's betrayal... [Lump in throat. So icy heart. He can do this. Just stay detached.] I would certainly tell everyone to execute me and cease the torment.
I asked Skulduggery before. To reach out to me. He said he was relying on the Captain's plan. I asked him if the Captain's plan without me and Yato and Valdis interfering, trying it our way, went off like he planned, would it make him happy? The Captain. Not because I give a damn how the Captain feels. But I do care about Skulduggery. He couldn't answer me. So I think that's a pretty obvious no. My failure was to think Valdis would work with me, not against me, not think I was risking my death as a gunblade. She didn't know. That's on me, not her. But even so, that doesn't mean I could give up if there was anything left to try to spare them both the pain of that. It's what I'd want for me.
I've had more names than Skulduggery, though he's lived a lot longer -- from nearly my century though. Kipposhi is the one the Captain used. I hadn't heard that since I was... five? Since before my first battle. Names are important. As Yato's gunblade, I am Mizune. [His right hand goes to the back of his left shoulder where that mark is.] So my hope, was that people would understand. If no one wants to punish Skulduggery, if no one wants to sacrifice a whole person for the actions of a rogue weapon, if no one except Skulduggery in his guilt and anguish, and the Captain: in his belief that he already did everything to fight the rules already -- everything except ask the rest of us to find a way out, because maybe Skulduggery wouldn't want us facing the consequences of that, and it'd add more guilt, then no one has to. You don't have to vote to sacrifice [He nearly spits the word, and just takes a calming sip of tea!] a life. If that's not what you want? Don't do it. Instead, do anything to find another way. Try anything, no matter how impossible. What's the worst that will happen? The rules police will come enforce the rules? Good. I have questions for them.
[Looks up at the ceiling again.] I'm sure my ex would say I don't understand anything again.
And maybe I don't.
But I didn't lead Yato. He's just the same damn way as me. That's why I wanted to help him, even though I've assumed I'm gods' enemy since I was possessed. At least he gets it.
I don't mind you guessing at my head, thinking you get it, even if you're wrong. But don't ever think my thoughts aren't oceans deep. The weather is obvious for anyone to see. [Like how he's frozen now. All the rage continuously turned to ice.] But there are depths I haven't even explored the totality of. So if you want to dive in, make sure you're ready to take wrong guesses. The trick is you have to know what happens even if you're wrong. And account for it. And I did that with the trial. All of it. Every single step. Even asking Teyrey to help, knowing the whole room might hate her for it. And I still call it worth it, even though it nearly broke her.
You held up really well though. I'd have been all over the place if Klaus was --
[Glances up at the ceiling. He doesn't regret loving Klaus. He just doesn't know what he did wrong still. Maybe it doesn't matter. Anyone who couldn't fight the impossible with him was in too much danger. Just like Oichi all over. Better now than even later when he came to truly truly rely on Klaus and make moves that couldn't make up for the loss.] Well. You know.
You've gotten a lot stronger over the last few months. So I'm going to ask, not if the vote was worth it, or if you thought it was right. But are you happy about it?